FTWM | A mother of two: June 2012

I always wanted to write something related to home organizing and improvement, but somehow it stuck in my mind. So here the 1st entry (hope it will continues, because I believe we keep on learning to become better wife and mom...and believe me, a lot of organizing thing once u join wifey club)

So as a start, just a simple thing. How do u keep milo, tea, sugar so on?
Here some tips (not professional, but so far really work)

1. Get tupperware to keep milo, teas, sugar so on (tipuware pun blh..janji clear-see through tupperware)
2. Choose size accordingly (means that small tupperware just to keep maybe tea bags, big tupperware for 1kg sugar)
3. If possible label it (if ur husband prefer to prepare milo so on this really works..tidakla dia ingat choco malt tu milo..)
4. Put everything in one area (so ni kira cam beverage station...senangkan? nanti xleh cari gula tempat lain, teh tempat lain)
5. If possible eye level/ senang nampak (even klu family dtg pun diorg tau nk cari kat mana klu tiba2 nak pekena kopi ke)
6. If possible arrange it together with mug, spoon, water dispenser...senangkan? amik mug, sudu, masukkan teh, gula, air panas..siap sudah teh anda
7. Label expiry date, esp for not-so-famous-drink...bkn pe sbb sume wrapping dh buang, mana ingat expiry date kan (for us coffee is not-so-famous...so untuk mengelakkan tiba2 husband tnya kopi taun bila ni..sila label)
8. I found it will be easier to buy those tea/ cofee in bag..instead yg serbuk2 tu..sbbnya dl2 selalu husband xjumpa penapis..so guna teabag xpyh dh cari penapis..

So I thing pictures speaks better, hereby presenting my humble beverage station

Tupperware- diff size - label - one area

ni kat depan - famous drink letak depan ye..senang nk capai

ni kat blkg- biasa sy letak minuman yg sy minum - husband xbrapa minum

dan jugak stock susu pekat, creamer, etc kabinet atas letak tea set sbb tetamu jrg bertandang..time org dtg panjat sume amik

Eye level - dekat ngan water dispenser (mug tmpt lain sudu tempat lain, sbb xmuat nk buh sume 1 area)

Expiry date for not-so-famous-drink

Amacam ok tak?

Disclaimer : This entry written based on personal opinion and observation. It night be long, but really hope worth reading. Another thing there is a lot of hyperlink to my previous entries and also from other blogger/ site

The moment of joy

I believe the moment that we found out that we're pregnant..its something really new experience and of course somehow it might be clueless

I wont write in details, just some kind of general notes..the rest blh google jelah kan?

A. Pregnancy
1. Antenatal check up - you can choose to have check up with gov clicnic, private clinic / hospital. The choice is yours, as long as you have proper check up. For those plan to have check up with gov clinic, you read some tips here

2. EDD - EDD give is just an estimate...you might end up have early/ on the EDD itself or overdue. Sume ni kuasa Allah kan? so kita boleh doa sahaja baby selamat dilahirkan

3. Problems - eg bleeeding in early pregnancy, miscarriage, pre-eclampsia - you might have smooth sailing pregnancy while some ended with problems. Remember each pregnancy is unique, so get some professional advice and be patient.

4. Hormones and emotion - Yes pregnancy can produce a number of conflicting emotions

5. Common discomfort and complaints - Cramp, constipation, nausea, heartburn, tiredness and so on. Some might have it for temporary esp first trimester and end of pregnancy but some have almost 9 months!

6. Healthy eating - Most would say eating for two..but personally I believe eat moderately as afraid might end up with overweight pregnancy which can lead to other problems.

7. Wardrobe and looking your best - I believe nowadays pregnancy do not limit ur fashion (except myself..both pregnancy rasa cm selekeh..). A lot of choices nowadays and the good thing you can wear it even after delivered..like maxi so on. But for me I prefer to have 2-in-1 maternity and nursing bra, maternity and nursing blouse/ shirt (most shirt worn here are 2 in 1..ramai xperasan pun kan) . Oh ya pregnancy hormone also can affect the colour and texture of your skin..jgnla terkejut pelipat2, ketiak ka tiba hitam semacam..

8. Preparing for your little one - I believe around second trimester is the best time to start shopping for your little one. The good thing for those stay in KL/ Selangor, you can have wider option from baby expo and warehouse sale. You don't need to buy the whole mall before the arrival of lil ones

9. Third trimester discomfort - false alarm, braxton hicks, plus kicks counts

B. Breastfeeding choice
The first food for ur baby is milk, and of course breatmilk is the best

Dalam Islam pun dinyatakan klu mampu bf until 2 years. Once u become mother u'll know how certain mothers so fanatic on bf to the extend ada yg smpi berperang kat internet - mcm gelar anak2 yg minum FM (formula milk) ni anak lembu and so on

Learn about bf as much as you can - books, net, forum so on. Personally I prefer to learn through books because it written and covered topic by topic, while thru net you might not sure where to start

C. Antenatal, breastfeeding & hypnobirthing class
It is not a must. But I really encouraged for first time parents to be attend the antenatal class. At least both of you get the general idea esp the labour process.

If you have extra budget and time, you can attend breastfeeding and hypnobirthing.

I think around second trimester is the best time to attend such classes. Dont wait until the last minute.

Some classes conducted for free while some you have to pay for the materials & food. You can check around through internet or simply make few call. Sblm terlupa like myself bersalin di Hospital Putrajaya, tapi gi kelas antenatal KJMC...so xsemestinya gi kelas antenatal KJMC, bersalin kat KJMC jugak. But certain place ada yg hanya bukak kelas untk patient yg bersalin di situ

Notes on antenatal class here and bf class here

D. Choice in childbirth
1. Natural birth-involves the use of breathing and relaxation technique termasukla hypobirthing, some need assistance - episotomy, vacuum in order to deliver ur baby

2. Caesarean birth - in case you cannot deliver normally, the option is caesarean

3. Water birth - you can check Dr Halina's post here on water birth experience. I found blogger post here the water birth cost is RM6k++

Get some general idea on how each process will take place..at least adala idea sikit2 nk persiapkan diri ke labour room

Learn few terms like episiotomy, epidural, enthonox, pitocin, forcep delivery, vacuum extraction...Ok nanti bakal2 ibu ingat cam nk g peksa plak...no-no just gain as many knowledge as u can, so at least bila misi kata sy nk bg pitocin, anda start pk bukan2

For second time mother, if you have caesarean previously you still can have VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean). Talk and discuss with your gynea/ expert

E. Birthplan
hehe bkn kawen aje ada plan..nk bersalin pun ada plan

1. do you wish to have with u during labour-husband, mother? Klu kt malaysia bersalin normal biasanya nowadays blh je husband temankan...believe me husband will be become our best partner ever..

2. can birth partner remain with u if u have caesarean or forceps delivery? Tang ni kena tnyala doc awal2...but normally csect husband xleh masuk..pe2 pun tnyala kt doc tmpt nk bersalin tu

3. pain relief, which sort do u want? Ha tang ni susah nk kata sbb masing2 tahap tahan sakit berlainan...klu rasa nk epidural mintak awal sbb certain stage, dh dilated 6cm above dia xbg..

4. are u going to breastfeed? Insya Allah sume nk bf kan? for those bersalin kt swasta inform awal2 nk bfkan baby...for gov hosp most likely mmg encourage bf...I really encourage time kt hospital ni jgn segan2 tnya psl bf ni..even u can ask them about marmet (teknik ni amatla bagus untk dipelajari sbb ftwm ada potential nk tertinggal pump parts ..so time2 nila sesuai praktis marmet)

F. Choosing hospital, father friendly, baby friendly
On top of this I believe budget will come first, govt or private is ur own personal choice. Father friendly means that husband can accompany while in labour room. Baby friendly for hospital support breastfeeding

Buat yg beragama Islam dan mampu sebaik2nya pilihla doktor perempuan untuk monthly checkup. Kita baca sini ye untk lebih lanjut

G. Hospital bag
Get prepare around 32 weeks. My checklist posted here. Insya Allah will revisited and update later, since actually you can pack 1 bag standy at home (in case kena stay lama kat hospital then barulah breastpump berguna...and extra things like pampers so on)

H. Cord blood
This is something consider new in Malaysia..its not a must, but an optional...and of course its not free. If you have extra budget, you can opt for it (jd retis gak yg untung...sume co nk sponsor brg baby and even cord blood)

I. Labour and birth
Show, water breaking, contractions. 3 stage of labour.

For first time mum usually xsure cmne contraction kan..klu rasa xyakin blhla ke hospital, but u might end up kena balik rumah balik sbb false alarm. BUT if waterbag breaking..air ketuban dh pecah, sila terus ke hospital..penting sgt sbb baby kan diliputi air ketuban ni, klu air ketuban dh kurang bahaya

J. Islamic birth
Azan & iqamat, tahnik, cukur rambut, akikah, khatan, menamakan anak dgn nama yg baik, tanam uri dgn segera

Hukum mencukur rambut di sini ye

K. Confinement
Confinement pun kena la ada sedikit sebanyak plan
1. How long - 30 hari? 44 hari? 100 hari?

2. where - kampung? rumah sdiri? rumah MIL?

3. whom will take care - mak, MIL, or maybe confinement services (ok pricey, tapi klu dh xde mak/ mak dh tua sgt ini antara option- cth shadira, ireetouch, jemari tradisional so on- for further testimonial sila google ye)

4. confinement regime - learn a lil bit confinement regime..pantang makan minum, urut, tungku, bengkung so on...ikut tak ikut tu ikut diri masing2la kan...

5. confinement massage - I have to write this, for those S'gor/KL u might be suprise it will cost u..kdg untk 3 hari dh beratus2. Plus please survey and book in advance...weh glamer tau makcik2 tukang urut bersalin ni. Some even offer massage so on and even stay in house. some just basic package

6. breastfeeding plan - ok during confinement u can stock up ur milk! esp those FTWM (full time working mom)..bkn pe kdg dh start keje, stress..time mgmt-keje vs pump..so on susu pun maybe ada naik turunnya..so stok2 ni akan berguna di saat memerlukan. For those have confinement at kampung, don't worry u can transport ur frozen EBM safely. U can refer her entry here (fatih, pinjam ye...malas nk taip bnyk2)

L.Post natal
Lots of post natal issues like post natal depression, getting back into shape, tiredness vs relaxation, hair loss so on. Talk to ur gynea if you are unsure

Oh ya please do not forget to have pap smear (if not mistaken a month after delivery)

M. Newborn
You might find the first weeks at home with ur new baby quite difficult. Don't worry its learning process

Newborn care - how to hold new baby, bathing, dressing, breastfeeding technique, sleeping, crying, colic and so on. OK sila jgn ingat baby hanya tido...baby tido kejap2 je, kejap2 nk susu..

N. Immunization

You will be given baby book which there is table of compulsory immunization. You can opt to get it at klinik kesihatan or clinic. But if you choose KK you have to be prepared with long hours waiting (like pregnancy check up, except this time with ur lil one)

Beside compulsory immunization, you can have additional jab eg rotavirus and pneumococcal - posted here. Recently ada kata nk masukkan rotavirus as compulsory but not sure when it will be implemented (ok I just realised something..ada kata rotavirus ada babi, but ada plak yg kata org g haji pun kena amik rotavirus..then cmner ye? erk...dh terlepas dua anak amik rotavirus)

O. Childhood illnesses
sickness, diarrhoea, high temperature, fever, refuse to eat/ drink, teething.

Some temporary solution posted here.

Lupa plak klu demam blh la jeram ngan air asam jawa...bancuh asam jawa (mcm nk masak) lps tu lumurka kat badan, kepala anak.Insya Allah suhu badan akan turun

P. Insurance and saving
Start early. It is not a must to save certain amount, but sedikit2 lama2 jadi bukit kan? Having insurance and saving at least will make parents be prepared for the children future esp when it comed to education cost

For saving, if plan to have 2 in 1 plan, you can open SSPN account - saving and at the same time you can cliam for tax deduction (current claim max RM3k)

Q. Family planning
There a lot of option for family planning. But each comes with pros and cons. Discuss it with your husband and gynea.

Some might found that they are not suitable with certain type of family planning - cthnya ada yg susu jd sikit (so bf mommy klu yg amik family planning jenis pil kena tnya dl doc), some even having heavy bleeding, irregular menses, headache and so on

If you're in final trimester please talk and plan with ur partner, even u can ask ur gynea..don't wait to last minute because you might end up having a close gap pregnancy (yg xkisah tu xpelah, bkn pe being working mum, anak rapat2, cost of living..blh stress jugak tu)

Breastfeeding also can consider as natural family planning, or known as LAM. LAM is 98% - 99.5% effective during the first six months postpartum. So sooner or later u still need to thing about family planning!

R. Nursery, baby sitter, parents, parents in law, maid
You have to decide whom will taking care ur baby once u back at work. So start early (even u not yet delivered)

You can check from neighbours, friends to find for the trusted nursery/ baby sitter. The cost range from RM 200 - 300, besides there is overtime esp if u working late.

Each option have pros and cons, klu hantar anak nursery bersedia la kdg2 dlm beg tu ada brg baby lain - kes tersalah masuk brg, senang berjangkit penyakit

S. Back at work
Once u back at work, the timetable might be totally change..You might need to slot pumping session between juggling with work, and of course a lot change..You might rush urself because u'll missed ur baby soo badly. Beside no more such working on weekend (if possible), and no karaoke session with collegue (haha..this apply to me...mmg xpernah ikut karaoke)

T. Adjusting with the whole family
Your life will change a lot. And believe me you will learn to adjust almost everything

My personal exp? hmm masa mula naik kerja (ni time afham je ada), balik rumah salah sorg akan letih xingat dan tdo awal...pstu mcm take turn isnin selasa - ibu jaga afham, ayah tdo awal, rabu khamis - ayah jaga afham, ibu tdo awal...and it last for a month jugak kot..skrg xde dh. dua2 dh biasa (get to use, tp serious letih la)..

U. Baby and u
Ok tak tau nk letak header pe...but most likely anything related to ur baby..issues like playing and learning with toys, baby massage, travelling with baby, keeping ur child safe, teething and so on so forth.

Some even started early education..ada yg kecik2 lg dh ajar mengaji..ni ikut masing2lah kan, all parents want to provide the best for their children

V. Introducing solid
I would recommend once ur baby hit 4 months, it time for u to learn homemade solid food. You can refer few website and join facebook group (HSFFYB) . Commercial baby's food is expensive and homemade solid food will save some $$ plus kasih sayang. Don't worry u don't need to become Masterchef to cook for ur little ones.

My compilation of homemade baby food posted here

W. Milestone and development
From grip ur finger tightly, lift head, smile, cooing, laugh, roll ball, talking and to the first baby step.

Baby's development - sight vision, hearing, smell, taste, touch, talking, social behaviour, mobility, play

Remember each babies have their own and unique development. For example some can walk before hit their 1st birthday while some later..talk to expert/paed if you have major concern

X. Natural parenting
Known also as "asuhan alami" - breastfeeding(BF) , babywearing(BW), cloth diapering (CD),homemade solid food, homeschool. The choice is urs!

Y. Read and learn from others
Read more books and learns from others..kakak, mak , atok, mana yg baik kita blh teruskan, mana yg xberapa elok/ sesuai pandai2lah kita elakkan

Believe me sometimes it can be stressful, ada kata cmni, ada kata cmtuh..if anything unsure talk to expert (at least they know better

Z. Enjoy motherhood journey
It might be tough, but u'll enjoy it.

Forget about stretch mark, long hours in labour room and so many motherhood issues (bf issue and so on) - I remembered while attending antenatal class, someone asked the gynea about stretch mark- her answer just simple.."itu tandanya anda dah jadi ibu

If you expect this entry to have baby checklist, I'm really sorry..not this time. I will try my best to share it later (yes it takes ages to finish an entry because so many commitment and sometimes I lost my mojo)

Hope this will be really worth reading esp for mom to be! Nak share kat yg lain pun boleh..sharing is caring! klu ada yg nk tambah pun most welcome. I might update this entry later by sharing perhaps like baby warehouse & expo review, and maybe checklist - so it will be complete reading..baca 1 entry tp mcm2 ada..hehehe

Phew..managed to get A to Z *tepuk sikit bahu..*

Till then

xoxo,
mother of two A's